Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
