Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just want to make out with him forever
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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