Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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