she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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