ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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