we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
