Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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