One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
