Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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