so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
