ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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