i was rollin on her like bob the builder
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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