Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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