So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
