Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
