Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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