I puked a lego.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
