I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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