i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
