You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
