So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
