nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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