areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
