Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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