Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
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