No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
