Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
