what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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