well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
