5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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