It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
