Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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