and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
