I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
