So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She bit a glass in half.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
