party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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