so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
