I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
