I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
