Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
