it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
