I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
