Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
