ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
