Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
