i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
