i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
