I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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