Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
