Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I have already put on my inside pants.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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