So drunk its hurt
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
