I want to have your abortion
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
