dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
