I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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