He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
