I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
