You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Farmville is her only friend.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
