My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
