i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ugly people sure do ruin things
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
