Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
there is puke in my bra ... again
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize