You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
